I'm not a soldier but I'm at war

Clean and sober year number four 

Battles with temptation 

Past friends and relations 

Conflict miscommunication 

I get tired of waiting I'm tryna be patient 

Testing my patience 

What's expected of me isn't me 

No point trying to change me you see 

That change must only come from me 

People are not what they seem 

Reality looks dif...

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Always the odd one out 

Talk to ghosts that's me 

Synchronised numbers i see 

11.11....1...2...3..

Or all the fives 

444 

22.22 ...2020 and more 

White feathers float to me 

The Angel's they guide me 

Ancestors walk with me ...besides me 

I can see them ..hear them feel them

If you can't.. it mustn't be real then 

I look distant to you ..in a daze me 

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Tick, Tock.

Look at the clock.

Wait seven seconds.

Look at the clock.

Wait seven seconds.

Look at the clock.

Wait seven seconds.

Look at the

Wait---

Tip, Tap.

Each finger raps the desk.

Once then twice then thrice.

Each finger raps the desk.

Once then twice then thrice.

Each finger raps the desk.

Once then twice then thrice.

Each finger

Once-...

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You try to escape the demons

But they latch on way too tight,

Their claws digging into my body

And mind, with all their might.

Fighting is exhausting,

It physically and mentally drains.

But still I endure it, hoping

One day I will finally escape the pain.

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